To Find a Queen

Matt. 20. Waiting For My Queen. Tired. Dedicated. Created to love.

(Source: kushandwizdom)

(Source: kushandwizdom)

9.30.14 /Rant

I go to a small liberal arts college where more than half the athletes talk about nothing but sports. Whether it be at lunch, at the gym, at church or even to their own mothers on the phone. And the funniest part is that we don’t even have a school team. We’re too small of a school.

We have an absentmindedly intense sports league comprised of the most thoroughly mediocre players you will ever find.
These same players take the game so seriously that you’d think they were playing D1 football at a Cal-State.
Maybe they are reliving highschool, maybe they have nothing better to do with their time, but in all honesty they do it for the love of competition and being “better” than other guys. Especially in front of the ladies.
But they will never admit that.
Instead they will say “to have fun”.
But anyone with a brain knows its to stroke their ego.

Now don’t get me wrong I admit I’m pretty mediocre at most sports myself, but I’ve played soccer for 15 years. I played D3 Club and know what its like to be better than everyone around you, mowing through the less talented and to have the adrenaline rush of scoring and having all the attractive girls cheer for you and talk to you after the game.
I’ve indulged in that life and the 36 trophies and 17 medals on my wall at home are a testimony to that. So when soccer season hits the athletes are super warm and talkative, but when it’s not they are just sucking the preverbal dick of whoever scored last game. Sad really.

It’s a projected form of the masculine ego and libido.
But at the end of the day all it is vanity, which is empty.
Just like the lives of the athletes at my school and the girls who fuel the fire.

Which is also why the majority of girls who cheer on the sidelines without understanding the sport or girls who show up just to watch guys play sports are just plain unattractive to me.
The latter basically indulge a form of sexual gratification while the first cheer for social acceptance/playing the part of the cute girl on the sideline because that’s what society tells them to do

I would understand better and actually sympathize if we were at an Ivy-league where sports actually matter. Or if they are supporting their boyfriend. Or if they actually enjoyed sports and talked about it when the season wasn’t on. But the majority of then don’t. Like shit people get a life. There are seriously more important things then sports that you all suck at anyway.

I’m at the point in my life where I can honestly say that I don’t find myself inclined to that lifestyle anymore.
I mean I do weight lift and I’m one of the strongest guys at my school, but that’s just a reflection of my interior discipline and motivation to succeed in life. I know if I actually cared enough that I could train for a few weeks and actually become decent enough to excel again. But I don’t care.

And when it comes to woman that are worth pursuing. they already realized everything in this rant along time ago.

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(Source: kushandwizdom)

“And sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in.”

—   Jane Austen, from Sense and Sensibility (Penguin Classics, 2003)

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